Almost didn’t notice someone walking a pig just now so I guess I’ve been living in Brooklyn too long.

Oh my god do you think he saw me?

2008: Seeing a familiar dude & wondering if you know him from OkCupid.

2013: Seeing a familiar dog & wondering if you know it from Tumblr.

That moment at Mother’s Day lunch

when your uncle pointedly toasts to “future mothers at the table” and you’re the only childfree person there.

Going “dancing” tonight for a friend’s birthday, aka

gently swaying in a corner while eating my martini olives very, very slowly

accidentally thumping strangers with my purse

flossing in the bathroom

trying to figure out if the bar serves snacks

do you think they have cheese?

synecdoche: You may not have a book deal but the gecko from GEICO does.  See what happens when you’re busy having Opinions about Lena Dunham’s book deal? You look away for ONE second…
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synecdoche:

You may not have a book deal but the gecko from GEICO does. 

See what happens when you’re busy having Opinions about Lena Dunham’s book deal? You look away for ONE second…

(via jonathanbogart)

Source: synecdoche

I just want to say that I was really upset when I finally realized this was Photoshopped. (It took me a while. I was so moved by the spirit of the image that I didn’t notice all those white pixels. Let’s hear it for being a BIG PICTURE thinker, ok?)
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I just want to say that I was really upset when I finally realized this was Photoshopped.

(It took me a while. I was so moved by the spirit of the image that I didn’t notice all those white pixels. Let’s hear it for being a BIG PICTURE thinker, ok?)

When random dudes on the street tell me to smile

New BFF

The lady who just walked into the public restroom & said “I just had a green smoothie & brussels sprouts for lunch so you might wanna clear out.”